


Yes

by Side_effect_of_the_meds



Series: Fem!Andreil [5]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: F/F, Fem!Andreil, Fluff with a tad of badly written smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:35:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22045729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Side_effect_of_the_meds/pseuds/Side_effect_of_the_meds
Summary: I’ve never really written smut and I don’t intend to become a smut writer but I’m not having a good week so this following piece is entirely self-indulgent. I’ll get back to my asks in a bit bc this week is homecoming and I’m going to be too busy with that to get much else done.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: Fem!Andreil [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586845
Kudos: 51





	Yes

Saturday mornings were for Erin. After a long night at Eden’s, serving drinks to daring men and women with far more daring hands, Erin retreated to the back rooms while Nicky and Aaron got shitfaced with the rest of the staff. Erin had never understood why Ronnie refused to participate in the festivities. Of course it had taken Boyd just one night in Columbia to see what Erin had been blind to for the last year. After Boyd’s wondrous revelation, Erin found herself driving out to Columbia once a week for just one night, one minute, one second with Ronnie. Just to keep herself sane. If only Ronnie didn’t drive her insane. 

The handcuffs had been a necessary investment but they made Erin feel just a little cruel. She knew about Ronnie’s long list of abusive boyfriends. All she wanted was someone to treat her as more than a blow up doll or a punching bag. It wasn’t hard. Not a single one of her past lovers had brought her to a climax, or anything close to one. Ronnie’s standards were right in the gutter where Erin lay. Pleasing Ronnie wasn’t hard. Pleasing herself was another matter. 

It wasn’t that Ronnie wasn’t enough. She was beautiful but in the way every rich girl was. Ronnie dressed in clothes that cost more than the twins’ inheritance. Layer after layer of makeup caked her face, smoothing over any imperfection. For her eighteenth birthday, her father had taken her to a plastic surgeon. He said that no man would ever want a woman with a chest as flat as hers. Plastic surgery became a hobby of hers. Ronnie was a woman on a mission to see just how much plastic she could have injected into her body. 

“In a thousand years, someone’s going to dig up my grave and not a single thing will have decayed,” Ronnie had joked. Erin didn’t think that was a good thing but Aaron kicked her under the table before she’d had the chance to say so. 

Physically, Ronnie was a dream. Emotionally, she was a nightmare. It wasn’t that Erin didn’t want to help her. She really did. Ronnie was the twins’ best friend but Erin wasn’t the most emotionally stable person as it was. Taking on Ronnie and her problems was just too much of a job for Erin. Instead, she settled for distracting her with her hands. Erin’s fingers were long and thin. Piano hands, Luther had called them. 

“It’s a shame you don’t play an instrument,” he’d said, inspecting them. In a way, Erin did. Anyone who’d heard the symphony of sounds she’d managed to draw out of Ronnie would agree (not that anyone had heard, Erin had made sure of that). 

As nice as her time with Ronnie was, Erin still need time alone to recover from it all. On Saturday mornings, Nicky and Aaron were too busy nursing hangovers to bother getting out of bed before one. Blissful silence reigned through the Minyard house. There was so little time in which Erin got to savor such a silence. It was the weighty silence of her teammates holding their breaths when she entered the room. It wasn’t the expectant silence of Wymack waiting for her to explain herself after she’d caused another incident with the upperclassmen. 

This was a peaceful silence that quieted even the worst of Erin’s demon. It soothed something savage deep inside her, lulling her into an illusion of normalcy. Saturday mornings were the only times when Erin let herself pretend that she was really okay. Sure, Erin told herself she was fine when Aaron shot her icy glares, keeping himself well out of her reach but Saturday mornings were the only time she dared to let herself believe that they could actually get better. 

Learning to love herself was the most important step in recovery. Bee was incredibly adamant about it. The first time she’d said so, Erin had sneered in her face. 

“No one’s going to love a girl covered in scars. Why should I?” Erin asked as she rocked her chair onto its back legs.

Bee sat there a moment. Her dark brown eyes grew darker as she pursed her lips. “My husband loves me,” Bee finally said. 

“That’s because you’re pretty,” Erin said, waving Bee’s smile away. “I’m bitchy not blind,” she drawled. 

“But you said that no one’s going to love a girl covered in scars,” Bee replied. Pushing back the sleeves of her sweater, Erin realized that she’d never seen Bee in short sleeves. She lost her balance at the first glimpse of the thickly roped scars winding up her arms. She was on her feet, seizing Bee’s forearms in her hands. 

“Oh, Bee. What have you done?” 

“Glass. From bottles. And window panes. Several mirrors.” Erin tore her gaze from Bee’s arms to look at her face. She was smiling softly at Erin. “We’re far more alike than you’d think, Erin.” 

That had been nearly ten years ago. In all that time, Erin had never really learnt to love herself. It didn’t matter. She’d found people who’d loved her enough to make up for it. Nicky loved her. Aaron loved her. Kevin and Wymack loved her. Bee and her husband, Colm, loved her. They’d loved her so much that they’d offered to make her Erin Dobson Minyard. She was grateful that they’d offered her a place in their home but too take it felt like a betrayal to the one she already had. Nicky and Matt were as great a mom and dad as Erin could have ever hoped for. Aaron could be a prickly little shit but Erin wouldn’t trade him for any other brother in the world. Bee and Colm hadn’t taken offence to her rejection. They still welcomed her with open arms and it made Erin love them all the more for it. 

It didn’t matter that she had the love of her entire family. Erin wanted more. She wanted Ania to love her and for everyone to know it too. She wanted to be Erin Minyard-Josten.

Ania had fought hard to become Ania Alora Josten. Josten was her truth and Erin desperately wanted to be a part of it. In the last eight years, not a single day passed where the thought of marrying Ania Josten didn’t flit through her brain. Staring up at the ceiling, Erin planned a wedding she knew she’d never get to have. The two of them had come a long way from when they’d first met but, in some ways, Ania was still just a pipe dream. Breathing in deeply, Erin rolled onto her side as the sun filtered into the room. From the bed, Erin could see the gray smog that had wound itself amongst the impossibly grayer skyscrapers. Chicago wasn’t a pretty city but, as with all other things, anything Ania touched instantly became beautiful. Even Erin herself felt beautiful when Ania’s fingers danced across her body. 

All her life, Erin had been pushed away. Everyone saw her as a monster, or a half-starved guard dog that was always on the brink of biting the hand that fed her. Wymack had sat her down more than once and told her that it was wrong. He was a strong man but even he could barely hide the sheen of tears that coated his eyes as he say beside her hospital bed after another one of her failed suicide attempts, insisting that she was still a person, that she still deserved to live. He’d told her that she wasn’t a monster and made her promise to try to learn to believe that she wasn’t. Laying beside Ania now, Erin believed it. There was something about Ania that made Erin feel… human. 

Ronnie had asked Erin to be her answer, something far more than Erin knew she was capable of being. In her haste to banish her own feelings, Erin had told Ania that she wasn’t her answer. Tracing the curves of Ania’s sleeping face with light fingers, Erin regretted it. Ania  **was** her answer, Erin knew that now, and she desperately wanted- needed to be hers too. 

_ My wife.  _ Erin mouthed the words but she didn’t dare say them aloud for fear that Ania would hear her. Erin had never asked Ania her thoughts on marriage but she’d planted the seed in Nicky. As expected, Nicky had gone bounding up to Ania to extract her thoughts on the matter. The interrogation didn’t last long. Ania had made her opposition to the institution of marriage crystal clear. But that was before. Before Drake and Easthaven. It was before they’d started trading kisses on the roof. It was before Erin had let her walls down far enough to let Ania see her lain bare. It was before they’d begun waking up in each other’s arms. 

“Staring,” Ania said as she peeled an eye open. 

“Shut it, Junkie,” Erin replied but there was no heat in her words. 

“Make me.” Two words. Just two words and heat was already pooling in Erin’s stomach. She shifted closer and pressed her lips to Ania’s. An arm wound around Erin’s waist and dragged her closer. “Better,” Ania whispered as she broke the kiss. She was still close enough that their lips brushed as she spoke. It wasn’t enough for Erin. 

“Yes or no,” she asked. 

“Doe, I’m not even awake yet,” Ania laughed. After a moment’s consideration, “Yes, but only if you make me breakfast after.” 

“Deal,” Erin said. She slid her arm beneath Ania, dragging her form so that she lay atop Erin. 

“Oh,” was all Ania could say as she processed what was happening. The two of them had been together for nearly nine years now, but Erin still had a hard time relinquishing control of herself enough to let Ania top. But today was Saturday and Saturday’s were for Erin. Self care is letting yourself want and, right now, Erin wanted Ania on top of her. 

“Say it,” Erin whispered. She screwed her eyes shut in anticipation of the words. There were a few things that came before Ania would oblige and she ticked them off her mental checklist as they went. First, she heard the Ania’s soft laugh. Then she felt Ania’s left hand winding through her hair, tilting Erin’s head to the side. Erin felt Ania’s other hand snake up beneath her shirt. With it, Ania caressed Erin’s breast. She shivered at the brush of Ania’s lips on the shell of her ear. Finally, finally, Ania said it. 

“I love you.” Erin’s breath hitched. Ania’s fingernails scratched soothingly at her scalp. Her grip on Erin’s breast tightened as she started moving her hips slowly, painstakingly. Erin whined. “What’s wrong,  _ love _ ?” Ania asked. Erin could hear the mischief in her voice. It only made her hips buck up harder. Her hands grazed Ania’s waist. “Sit up, Erin.” Erin obeyed. She shifted so that she sat with her back against the headboard. 

“What are y-” Erin stopped short as she watched Ania wriggle out of her clothes. After getting permission, she tugged Erin’s bottoms off too. She watched silently as Ania spread her legs apart and settled between them. Ania looked up at Erin, searching for confirmation that what she was doing was alright. Whatever she saw made her smile. It was a slow, sly thing so befitting of a fox. She wrapped her legs around Erin’s waist and dragged herself flush against her body, lining them up perfectly. Watching Erin’s features carefully, she rocked forward. The slide of Ania against her sent waves of pleasure crashing over Erin. She jolted forward, throwing her head back and hitting it against the headboard with a resounding thud. 

Ania’s laughter rang through the room as Erin cursed, rubbing at her head. Great. All she’d wanted was to get off and all she’d gotten was a lump on her head. 

“Honey, are you okay?” Ania gasped through her fit of laughter. 

“Do you want breakfast or not?” Erin snapped. 

“Aw, don’t be like that, my love. I’ll be good. I promise.” With that Ania, wrapped a hand around the back of Erin’s head, effectively cradling it from further damage. Once more, she rocked forward against Erin. A low, moan escaped Erin’s lips. She felt the brush of Ania’s lips at the base of her throat, sucking down just enough to send her pulse racing. “Oh, darling, yes,” Ania murmured. Sometimes, when Ania got too worked up, Erin was graced with hearing Ania slip into her British accent. It drove Erin wild. She surged forward, grinding into Ania in the hopes of hearing it again. Erin’s efforts were handsomely rewarded. Ania ground up against her just as hard, babbling a constant stream of barely coherent encouragement. 

Their lips crashed together. Their limbs intertwined. The bed creaked. It was Saturday morning and Erin felt so, so good. Most days, she wasn’t any more vocal than she had to be but she knew how much Ania enjoyed hearing the soft, rasping sound of her voice in bed. She moaned right into Ania’s ear, relishing in the way Ania shuddered at the sound of it. As Erin neared her climax, her hips started to stutter. Almost immediately, Ania picked up the pace. She pried her body away just enough that Erin knew she was watching, waiting to see her go over the edge. Ania’s grip tightened in Erin’s hair, anchoring her as she ground her clit against Erin’s and that was it. 

For a whole fifteen seconds, everything ceased to exist. Ecstasy. Pure, fucking, ecstasy was all Erin could feel. As Erin’s senses returned, she gasped. Ania was still going, chasing her own orgasm. Every part of Erin felt raw and oversensitive but she wasn’t going to deny Ania her reward. She sat there, trying not to squirm as pain and pleasure wove together until the two were inseparable. Tears burned her eyes as her legs quaked. She tightened her grip on Ania’s waist, working her hard and fast. When Ania reached her climax, her eyes glazed over and her entire body went utterly still. Erin stopped entirely too, utterly transfixed by the majesty of Ania. 

It was as if time itself had stopped. Did Erin deserve this? Erin wasn’t a monster but she’d done some monstrous things, never feeling an ounce of remorse for her actions. Instead, Erin only got worse. Every despicable act she committed took her a step deeper into the darkness. For so long, Erin had lived cold and alone in the dark. Kevin might have been the first person to offer her a shard of hope but Ania had given her so much more than that. 

Ania had been more than a single shard of light. She was the sun itself: bold and bright and brilliant and Erin couldn’t live without her. Being so close to the sun would only burn her up but Erin was as self-destructive as they came. If Ania had asked for the oxygen from her lungs, Erin would give it to her. If Ania’s heart broke, Erin would take hers clean apart to fix her. From the very second Ania collided into the racquet Erin swung, she’d known that her life would never be the same again. As the words “Fuck you,” dripped venemously from Ania’s tongue, Erin had known she was in love.

Things had only gotten worse from there. Ania Josten had been a pathological liar that offered up little pieces of her truth in exchange for Erin’s trust. She’d broken down her walls just to taste Erin on that toxic tongue of hers. Ania hadn’t given Erin a reason to live. She’d given Erin a reason to want to live, something no one else had done. A future in which Erin had Ania by her side was too good to be true. It was the only future she wanted. 

But did she deserve it? She’d hurt so many people, strangers and family alike. Probably not. All her life, people had taken whatever they’d wanted from her. They’d tried to tie her down and own her. Now that she had complete control of herself, Erin was shocked to realize that what she wanted most was to belong to Ania. At first, it had scared Erin to want something like that so badly. In the years that passed, Erin slowly began to realize why she wanted what she did. Even if Erin gave herself over to Ania, Ania would never truly take control. Not once had Ania pushed Erin further than she was capable of going. Not once had she balked at taking no for an answer. 

Ania loved Erin with no strings attached. Up until Ania, everything in Erin’s life had been a constant power struggle. Being with Ania meant that Erin could stop being the monstrous creature she pretended to be. Ania had gazed upon the sad, shattered creature that Erin was and offered to help piece her back together. Erin would never be able to come back from the darkness to which she’d succumbed to. Taking Ania’s hand, Erin knew that. Nothing could ever undo the things Erin had done. Being with Ania didn’t make Erin a better person. It just stopped her from becoming a worse one. If Erin hadn’t met Ania she’d have never made amends with her brother, instead forcing him and Nicky further away. If Erin hadn’t met Ania she might not even still be alive today. 

The thoughts were knocked out of her head as Ania came back down from her climax. She settled back down, hissing as her oversensitive labia met the soft skin of Erin’s thighs.

“Jude,” she whispered as she nuzzled into the crook of Erin’s shoulder. Erin wrapped her arms around Ania. “Was… was it okay? Was I good?”

“You were amazing, Doll.” Erin carded her fingers through Ania’s hair, untangling it as she went. They lay there in each others’ arms as they caught their breaths. For just a few moments Erin truly believed that everything was okay. She felt her breath catch in her lungs as Ania began pressing kisses to the scars crisscrossing Erin’s arms. Erin didn’t deserve someone so kind. So caring. So full of love. 

“Eri?” Erin looked down to see Ania gazing up at her through her lashes. God, Ania was beautiful. Erin ran a thumb across the burn marks on her cheeks. “Aaron called yesterday.” Erin frowned. Her brother never called Ania. He usually just sent her photos of trash cans captioned ‘I didn’t know you had a twin, too’ or photos of stray cats he’d encountered on his way to work. Ania sat up and reached for the nightstand. Rummaging through the drawers, she continued, “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you but it never seemed like the right time. One of us was always flying somewhere, or there were too many people around, or we were with Coach. Aaron said that I’d better hurry up before you realize that you can do better than me. He’s right. I think, deep down, I was just scared that you’d say no. I mean, it’s okay if you do. We’ll still find a way to make us work if you do.” Erin’s heart stopped at the sight of the black velvet box that Ania drew out of the drawer. 

“Ania-” 

“I know there’s a conversation that’s supposed to come before this but I saw it in the window and I- I just couldn’t walk away.” Erin heard the soft click of button and the box swung open. Inside was a pale bold band, the same color as her hair. A large brown diamond glinted in the morning light. As the light passed through it, the hue seemed to shift from dark brown to hazel, the way Erin’s eyes did. Ania pried the ring from the cushion it rested in. Inside the band, a small heart shaped key had been engraved. 

Erin surged forward, cupping Ania’s face in her hands and forcing it to face her. She kissed her lips so hard she was sure they’d both be badly bruised but she didn’t care. Salt stung her tongue from the tears pouring down her face. “Ask me,” she croaked. “I want you to ask me.”

“Erin Jude Minyard, will you-”

“Yes,” she said before pinning Ania down to the bed. “Yes, yes, yes, yes,” she said between each kiss she planted on her lips. Laughter bubbled out of Ania at the unexpected burst of affection. 

“Eri, I didn’t even get to finish asking. What if I was asking you to go make breakfast?” 

“I’ll do that too,” Erin replied. Laying her head atop Ania’s she whispered, “I’ll do anything for you.” 

“Anything?” Ania asked, 

“Anything.” 

“Say it.” Erin stared deep into Ania’s eyes. They’d thawed from their usual icy appearance. They sparkled with mischief, daring Erin to deny her. She wouldn’t. There was no fun in telling Ania ‘no’. Besides, it was Saturday morning and Saturday mornings were for Erin. 

Softly, Erin whispered, “I love you.” 


End file.
